An attentive observer who has studied the modern world will find that it is dominated by extroverted larks: the early onset of a work day, the desire to stay in touch, meet friends, corporate culture, teamwork, randomly assembled Teams like in kindergartens and offices. The desire to communicate with smaller people or spend some time alone with themselves often encounters misunderstandings or even compassion for others. But is the loneliness and the time you spend alone as bad as you say about him?
Why is it difficult to spend time alone?
This may surprise you, but so many people would rather shock themselves than spend 15 minutes alone. The widespread aversion to loneliness can be very strong: a quarter of women and two-thirds of men in a study at the University of Virginia chose to be electrocuted instead of doing nothing and spending time alone with their thoughts. As a professor of psychology at Carleton University, USA, Robert Coplan told the New York Times that loneliness has a bad reputation historically. The problem is that we forget that loneliness can be a choice. At the same time, the choice of loneliness does not mean that you spend the whole working day alone with yourself. With so many studies showing that people are social beings who benefit from interacting with others, "people try to deny that it's also important to spend time alone."
In addition, some people experience loneliness exclusively with other people. Previous studies have shown that people often feel comfortable, especially when they think they are being watched. If you rethink how others look after us and fear that we will be judged, you may be able to stop us from doing things that would otherwise be enjoyable. People who are alone with their thoughts and give themselves space and time without social distractions can sometimes be scary, according to a study by Columbia University scientists. Other studies have also shown that the lack of outside incentives and the inability to rely on others does not allow a person to have their own life experiences when he is alone with himself. At the same time, the researchers note that it is necessary to understand the difference between loneliness, which really harms and harms health, and the ability to spend time alone with your thoughts.
What would you choose: 15 minutes alone with your own thoughts or an electric shock? Share your answers in the comments and with the participants of our telegram chat.
Why have a good time alone?
An online survey called "Leisure Test" found that most of the activities that people find most calming are done alone. Despite social stigma and the fear of spending time alone, it is bad for your health. People who listen to their needs and appreciate loneliness discover new interests and ideas without worrying about the opinions of others. The results of another study have shown that adolescents alone are less timid.
If you know yourself, it's easier to find other people who share your interests. It can also help to overestimate friendships: Do you have relationships with a friend just because you're used to doing something on a Friday night? Or is it worth spending time alone with people who you do not like? In addition, just spending time with yourself can increase your productivity, your ability to interact with other people, and your creativity. A study published in the journal Current Directions in Psychological Science has shown that brainstorming increases as participants switch between brainstorming alone and in groups.
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After all, every person has his perfect balance between the time he spends alone and with others. However, no one will be satisfied and completely healthy if he is only doing one thing or the other. Choosing to spend time on independent studies can have mental, emotional, and social benefits, but you need to spend time alone. In a culture where we often confuse loneliness with time for ourselves, the ability to appreciate time for ourselves should not be perceived as something negative. By spending time alone with our own thoughts, we can better deal with negative emotions and experiences such as stress and burnout.